When Pelican Town Romance Goes South: Breaking Up in Stardew Valley

Stardew Valley Relationship Manager

When Pelican Town Romance Goes South: Breaking Up in Stardew Valley

Relationship troubles got you down in Stardew Valley? Want out of a romance that’s no longer working? Breaking up with someone in Stardew Valley is a straightforward process, but the consequences and aftermath might surprise you. Whether you’re dating a villager with a bouquet or married and looking for a divorce, this guide covers everything from crafting the perfect breakup item to rebuilding relationships afterward. Skip to the quick breakup steps if you’re in a hurry to end things now.

The peaceful farming life in Stardew Valley often leads to romance, but sometimes those relationships don’t work out. Maybe you’ve realized Sebastian’s brooding personality isn’t for you, or perhaps Haley’s initial superficiality made you miss Leah’s artistic depth. Whatever your reasons, Stardew Valley offers clean (if sometimes painful) ways to end relationships at any stage.

This guide will walk you through every detail of the breakup process, from the initial dating mechanics to the advanced techniques for rebuilding relationships after they’ve ended. We’ll cover both breaking up with someone you’re dating and divorcing a spouse-two distinct processes with different mechanics and consequences.

Quick Breakup Steps

In a rush to end your Stardew relationship? Here’s the TL;DR version:

For breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend:

  1. Get a Bouquet (buy from Pierre’s for 200g)
  2. Get Coal (mine it or buy from Clint)
  3. Place both in a Furnace
  4. Wait 10 minutes in-game time
  5. Take the Wilted Bouquet that appears
  6. Find your partner and give them the Wilted Bouquet
  7. Your relationship will drop to 5 hearts (1250 points)

For divorcing a spouse:

  1. Go to Mayor Lewis’s Manor in town
  2. Interact with the book on the ledger to the right side of his house
  3. Confirm the divorce (costs 50,000g)
  4. Wait until the next morning for your spouse to leave
  5. Your relationship will permanently drop to 0 hearts unless you use the Witch’s memory erasure

Now let’s dive into the full details of breaking hearts in Pelican Town.

Dating vs. Marriage: Understanding Relationship Status

Before we can discuss breaking up, it’s important to understand how relationships work in Stardew Valley. The game has two distinct relationship statuses beyond friendship: dating and marriage. Each has different mechanics for both beginning and ending.

The Bouquet and Dating Mechanics

In Stardew Valley, you start building friendships with villagers by talking to them daily, giving gifts (especially on birthdays), and completing quests. Friendship is measured in “heart levels,” with each heart representing 250 friendship points.

Once you reach 8 hearts with an eligible bachelor or bachelorette, you can purchase a Bouquet from Pierre’s General Store for 200g. Giving this bouquet to the character initiates a dating relationship, allowing you to increase your friendship beyond 8 hearts up to 10 hearts.

The available bachelors in Stardew Valley are:

The available bachelorettes are:

You’ll know you’re dating someone when a small bouquet icon appears next to their name in the social tab of your menu. This dating status doesn’t affect your daily interaction with them much, but it does unlock unique 8-heart and 10-heart events, which are often romantic in nature.

Multiple Partners and Consequences

One of the fascinating aspects of Stardew Valley’s relationship system is that you can date multiple characters simultaneously. You can give bouquets to every eligible bachelor and bachelorette, allowing you to experience all their heart events before deciding who to marry.

However, this romantic freedom does come with potential consequences. If you reach 10 hearts with all bachelors or all bachelorettes and trigger certain events, you can face a “jealousy scene.” Walking into the Stardrop Saloon with all male characters at 10 hearts, or into Emily and Haley’s house with all female characters at 10 hearts, will trigger these scenes.

During these scenes, your dates confront you about your multiple relationships, and you’ll lose friendship points with all of them. They’ll refuse to speak with you for about a week afterward. However, you can prevent these scenes by carrying a Rabbit’s Foot in your inventory when entering these locations.

As one Reddit user mentioned: “You don’t have to ‘break up’ with either. Date them both, see their 10-heart events, then just marry the one you choose. No hearts lost!”

This is technically true-you don’t need to formally break up with anyone before marrying someone else. When you marry a character, your dating status with all other characters automatically ends without any penalty. The bouquet icon will remain next to their name in the social menu, but their status will change to “single,” and no one will mention that you previously dated.

Breaking Up with a Boyfriend/Girlfriend

If you decide to end a dating relationship before marriage, you’ll need a special item called the Wilted Bouquet. This was introduced in the 1.4 update and provides a formal way to break up with someone you’re dating.

Crafting a Wilted Bouquet

The Wilted Bouquet is a special gift that clearly communicates your intention to end the relationship. According to the Stardew Valley Wiki, “A gift that shows you want to stop dating someone.”

To create a Wilted Bouquet, you need:

  1. 1 Bouquet (purchased from Pierre’s General Store for 200g)
  2. 1 Coal (mined from the mines or purchased from Clint)
  3. A Furnace (crafted with 20 Stone and 25 Copper Ore)

Once you have these ingredients, follow these steps:

  1. Place the Bouquet in the Furnace
  2. Add the Coal
  3. Wait for processing (takes until the next 10-minute interval in-game time)
  4. Collect your Wilted Bouquet from the Furnace

The Wilted Bouquet itself can be sold for 100g via the shipping box, though Pierre won’t buy it back. It’s more useful as a breakup tool than as a source of income, however.

An interesting trivia note: The Wilted Bouquet can also be used in the sewing machine to create the Darkness Suit, giving it a secondary purpose beyond breaking hearts.

Delivering the Bad News

Once you have your Wilted Bouquet, it’s time for the difficult part-actually breaking up with your partner. The process is straightforward but emotionally impactful:

  1. Find your boyfriend/girlfriend (they usually follow predictable schedules)
  2. Approach them and open the gift interface
  3. Select the Wilted Bouquet from your inventory
  4. Give it to them
  5. A brief breakup dialogue will play
  6. You will immediately no longer be dating this person

As shown in a tutorial video, “You don’t need to talk to them, there’s nothing else you need to do, just give them that item. You can see there it already says the bottom left ‘you’re no longer dating this person.’ This is a slight little conversation you have with them and that is it.”

The Wilted Bouquet is a clear symbol that cannot be misinterpreted. As soon as you give it, the game registers that you’ve ended the relationship, and the bouquet icon will disappear from the social menu.

It’s worth noting that you cannot give a Wilted Bouquet to your spouse. If you attempt to do so, a text box will appear saying, “It wouldn’t make sense to give this to [spouse name].” For married couples, the divorce process is different, which we’ll cover later.

Character-Specific Reactions

Each bachelor and bachelorette has a unique reaction when you break up with them. These reactions reflect their personalities and add depth to the breakup experience.

From watching videos of players breaking up with all characters, some notable reactions include:

One interesting observation from watching these reactions is how many characters try to physically back away from the Wilted Bouquet when you attempt to give it to them, creating a more emotionally impactful scene as you have to “chase” them briefly to complete the breakup.

Aftermath of a Breakup

After you’ve broken up with someone you were dating, several changes occur in your relationship. Understanding these changes can help you decide if breaking up is the right move, especially if you might want to rekindle the relationship later.

Heart Level Changes

The most immediate consequence of giving someone a Wilted Bouquet is a reduction in friendship levels. According to the Stardew Valley Wiki:

“Giving a wilted bouquet immediately ends the dating relationship and reduces the friendship level with the marriage candidate to 5 hearts (1250 points). However, unlike having a divorce with a spouse, you are still able to talk and give gifts to them.”

This heart level reduction is significant but not devastating. At 5 hearts, you’ve still maintained a decent friendship with the character, just not a romantic one. This is much less severe than divorce, which drops the relationship to 0 hearts and comes with additional penalties.

This means that while the breakup will set your relationship back, it doesn’t completely destroy it. You can quickly rebuild the lost hearts through regular interaction and gift-giving.

The fact that you can still talk to and give gifts to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is important, as it allows you to maintain a friendship even after the romantic relationship has ended. Unlike with divorce, there’s no prolonged period where they refuse to interact with you.

Recovering Friendship

After breaking up with someone, you may want to rebuild your friendship with them. Since the relationship only drops to 5 hearts, this process is relatively straightforward and follows the standard friendship-building mechanics in Stardew Valley:

  1. Talk to them daily: Simply speaking to a character gives you +20 friendship points per day (up to once per day).
  2. Give liked or loved gifts: Giving preferred gifts can quickly increase friendship. Each character has specific items they love (for +80 points) or like (for +45 points).
  3. Give birthday gifts: Giving a gift on a character’s birthday multiplies the friendship effect by 8x, making it an excellent opportunity to rebuild friendship quickly.
  4. Complete their quests: Occasionally, characters will post requests on the Help Wanted board outside Pierre’s store. Completing these gives you friendship points.

One Reddit user confirmed: “From what I remember, whoever you break up is mad with you for 1 or 2 weeks then you can gift them to 8 or so hearts.”

This temporary cooldown period is much shorter than the consequences of divorce, making breaking up a less permanent decision.

It’s worth noting that there have been occasional bugs with the gift reset system. In version 1.3, some players reported issues with gifts not resetting properly on Sundays, which could hamper relationship rebuilding. These bugs have been addressed in subsequent updates, but if you’re playing an older version, you might encounter them.

Dating Again After Breakup

One of the most common questions players have after breaking up is whether they can date that person again. The answer is yes-you can rekindle a romance with someone after breaking up with them.

To start dating an ex again, you simply need to:

  1. Rebuild your friendship to 8 hearts or higher
  2. Give them another Bouquet from Pierre’s Shop

As one Reddit user confirmed: “I know in the new update there’s a function to break up with villagers now. Can you ask them out again after breaking up? Or do you have to erase their memories like with wanting remarry someone you’ve divorced?”

The consensus is that you can indeed date someone again after breaking up without needing to erase their memories (unlike with divorce, which we’ll discuss later). There isn’t any special dialogue or acknowledgment that you previously dated and broke up-the game treats it as if you’re dating for the first time.

This forgiveness is quite different from how the game handles divorce, where ex-spouses will harbor lasting resentment unless their memories are erased. This makes breaking up while dating a much less permanent decision than divorce, giving players more flexibility to experiment with different relationships.

Divorcing Your Spouse

If you’re married rather than just dating, the process for ending the relationship is completely different. Instead of using a Wilted Bouquet, you’ll need to file for divorce through Mayor Lewis.

Mayor’s House Divorce Process

To divorce your spouse in Stardew Valley, you need to visit Mayor Lewis’s manor in Pelican Town. His house is located near the town square, just to the west of the bridge leading to the museum.

Once inside Mayor Lewis’s house, head to the left side of his house, near his kitchen. There, you’ll find two books on a small table. Interact with the book on the right to access the divorce option.

When you select the book, a dialogue box will appear asking if you want to file for divorce. The game will warn you about the cost and consequences, giving you a chance to back out if you’re not sure.

As explained in a game guide: “If the player chooses to go for a divorce, they can go back and cancel it, but only within the same day and only until 10 PM. If the player waits too long, they won’t be able to reverse their choice.”

This limited window for cancellation means you should be certain about your decision before filing for divorce. Unlike breaking up while dating, which has relatively mild consequences, divorce has more severe and lasting effects.

Financial and House Consequences

Divorce in Stardew Valley comes with significant financial and home-related consequences:

  1. Divorce Fee: Filing for divorce costs 50,000g, a substantial sum even in the later stages of the game. This high cost discourages impulsive divorces and represents the financial entanglements of marriage.

  2. Spouse Room Removal: “The day after the player asks for a divorce, their ex-spouse will be gone, alongside the room they added on the right side of the Farmhouse and the small space they take up behind the Farmhouse.” This means any decorations or furniture in your spouse’s room will disappear, and the room itself will revert to an empty space.

  3. Children Remain: If you had children with your ex-spouse, they will remain at the farmhouse after the divorce. The game doesn’t implement any kind of custody arrangement or child support system.

These consequences give divorce a weightier feel than simply breaking up while dating. The high monetary cost and permanent changes to your home environment make divorce a more significant decision that players should consider carefully.

Ex-Spouse Behavior

Perhaps the most impactful consequence of divorce is how your ex-spouse will treat you afterward. Unlike breaking up while dating, divorce results in lasting resentment:

“If you’re married to them and divorce them, they’ll not only lose hearts but they’ll refuse gifts from you and won’t talk to you.”

Specifically, divorced spouses will:

This makes rebuilding a relationship with an ex-spouse much more difficult than with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Without the ability to talk to them or give them gifts, the standard friendship-building mechanics don’t work.

A forum user noted the realism of this mechanic: “According to the wikia, once you divorce someone none of your interactions will be the same/positive, the only thing that works is quest. It’s not really realistic IMO, yes divorce can be messy but I think mostly, it ends well.”

While some players might find this permanent resentment unrealistic, it does serve a gameplay purpose by making divorce a more consequential decision than breaking up while dating.

Advanced Reconciliation

For players who regret their breakup or divorce decisions, Stardew Valley offers ways to reconcile-though the methods differ depending on whether you were dating or married.

The Witch’s Hut and Memory Erasure

If you’ve divorced your spouse and want to completely reset your relationship with them, you’ll need to use the Dark Shrine of Memory in the Witch’s Hut.

The Witch’s Hut is located in the far northwest corner of the Cindersap Forest, but it’s initially inaccessible. To reach it, you must first complete the “Goblin Problem” quest, which becomes available after reaching the bottom of the mines and receiving a letter from the Wizard.

Once you have access to the Witch’s Hut, you’ll find the Dark Shrine of Memory inside. According to the Stardew Valley Wiki:

“The Dark Shrine of Memory is an altar found in the Witch’s Hut. The player can offer 30,000g to erase all divorced spouses’ memories, making it seem like they had never been married.”

When you use the shrine:

  1. You’ll pay 30,000g
  2. The memories of ALL your ex-spouses will be erased immediately
  3. They will no longer have the “(Ex)” label by their name
  4. They will interact with you as if you were never married

The dialogue you’ll receive when talking to an ex-spouse after wiping their memory is: “You’re the new farmer, aren’t you? You seem… no. I’m sure we’ve never met.”

This memory erasure allows you to rebuild your relationship from scratch, including the possibility of remarrying the same person. However, it’s important to note that you won’t be able to see their heart events again, as the game still remembers that you’ve already seen them.

Impact on Other Villagers

While the base game doesn’t implement relationship effects beyond your ex-spouse, some players have suggested that divorces should impact your relationships with other villagers, particularly those close to your ex.

A creative Reddit post proposed an expanded system where divorcing someone would affect your relationships with their friends and family:

“I feel like they should also impact your relationship with their loved ones as well. I would imagine that besides the divorced spouse, you also need to erase the memories of their loved ones as well if you want to marry them again.”

The post suggests detailed consequences for each character, such as:

While this system isn’t implemented in the base game, it represents a level of realism that many players find appealing. It acknowledges that relationships don’t exist in isolation-our actions toward one person can affect how others perceive us.

Some mods (which we’ll discuss later) do implement versions of these extended consequences, adding depth to the relationship system.

Rebuilding After Memory Wipe

After using the Dark Shrine of Memory to erase an ex-spouse’s memories, you’ll need to rebuild your relationship from scratch. This process follows the standard friendship-building mechanics:

  1. Talk to them daily
  2. Give them liked or loved gifts twice per week
  3. Prioritize birthday gifts
  4. Complete their Help Wanted quests

Since memory erasure resets their disposition toward you but doesn’t reset their heart level to 0, you’ll need to build friendship points from whatever level you’re at. Once you reach 8 hearts, you can give them a bouquet to start dating again, and at 10 hearts with a bouquet, you can propose with a Mermaid’s Pendant.

This system gives players a “second chance” at relationships, albeit at a significant gold cost. The 30,000g for memory erasure plus the 50,000g spent on the original divorce means reconciliation costs a total of 80,000g-a substantial investment that ensures players don’t take these decisions lightly.

Some players have proposed alternative systems that would make reconciliation more nuanced:

“I have an idea that if your relationship with them suffers to a certain point, you are able to talk to them about their current relationship and you can agree to either end your relationship or trying to improve them. If they had agree to the former, the penalties to divorcing the spouses will only had the same effect as a dating break up.”

While not implemented in the base game, these ideas show the community’s interest in more complex relationship mechanics that allow for growth, conflict resolution, and reconciliation.

Modding Relationship Mechanics

For players who want more depth in Stardew Valley’s relationship systems, mods offer expanded breakup and divorce mechanics that add realism and emotional impact.

Enhanced Breakup Experiences

One notable mod is “Broken Hearts - Divorce Events,” which adds multiple divorce events for nearly every marriage candidate. As the mod description states:

“Ever thought to yourself ‘gee, I love watching my favorite Stardew Valley characters suffer’? Well, here’s some good events to help you get started!”

This mod adds events that trigger after divorce, showing how your ex-spouse is coping with the breakup. These events add emotional depth to the divorce process and make the consequences feel more real and impactful.

Some of these modded events include storylines for specific characters like Alex and Shane, with the mod creator noting:

“Since the precedent has been set with those two events, and two more are coming, I decided that I might as well say ‘yes, there will be these events, BUT not for all of them.’”

For players who find the base game’s breakup and divorce mechanics too simplistic, these kinds of mods can provide the emotional depth and consequences they’re looking for.

There are also mods that allow you to date normally ineligible characters. One Reddit user mentioned:

“I noticed that there’s a mod available to marry Caroline, and it even received an update this year (April 8, 2024)! However, most recent Marryodi mod was last updated in 2022, aside from the Indonesian version, so it may not work well with the latest Stardew Valley update.”

These “homewrecker” mods allow players to pursue romances with characters who are already in relationships in the base game, adding new romantic possibilities for those who have exhausted the standard options.

Compatibility and Installation

When using relationship mods, it’s important to ensure compatibility with your version of Stardew Valley. With the release of version 1.6 in early 2024, many mods needed updates to remain compatible.

As the modding migration guide notes:

“The update includes major changes to fundamental parts of the game, and SMAPI and Content Patcher can’t feasibly rewrite every older mod for compatibility with some of the changes. This will break many existing mods until they’re updated for the changes.”

For players interested in using relationship mods, here are some key compatibility considerations:

  1. Check the mod’s last update date: Mods last updated before major game versions may not work correctly.
  2. Review the compatibility list: The SMAPI website maintains a compatibility list for popular mods.
  3. Look for 1.6-specific versions: Many mod creators have released updates specifically for compatibility with the latest game version.

Most relationship mods require SMAPI (Stardew Modding API) and potentially Content Patcher to function. Installation typically involves:

  1. Installing SMAPI first (following the instructions on the official site)
  2. Downloading the mod files
  3. Placing the mod files in the Stardew Valley Mods folder
  4. Launching the game through SMAPI

Some more complex mods may have additional requirements like Generic Mod Config Menu, which allows in-game configuration of mod settings.

Choosing the Right Path: Strategic Relationship Management

Now that we’ve covered all the mechanics of breaking up and divorcing in Stardew Valley, let’s discuss some strategic considerations for managing your relationships.

Dating Multiple Characters: Pros and Cons

Dating multiple characters simultaneously has both advantages and disadvantages:

Pros:

Cons:

If you decide to date multiple characters, remember that you don’t need to formally break up with anyone before getting married. When you marry one character, your dating status with all others automatically ends without penalty.

However, if you want to role-play a more honest character, using the Wilted Bouquet to end relationships properly before starting new ones might be more satisfying.

Relationship Recovery Strategies

If you’ve broken up with someone or gotten divorced and want to rebuild the relationship, different strategies apply depending on the situation:

After Breaking Up (Wilted Bouquet):

  1. Focus on daily conversations and twice-weekly gifts
  2. Prioritize their birthday gift for maximum impact
  3. Complete any Help Wanted quests they post
  4. Re-gift a Bouquet once you reach 8 hearts again

After Divorce:

  1. Visit the Dark Shrine of Memory and pay 30,000g
  2. Start rebuilding the relationship from scratch
  3. Follow the same friendship-building routine as above
  4. Be prepared for a significant time investment

For efficiency, focus on loved gifts that are easy to obtain or produce on your farm. Each character has preferred items, so consult the wiki or in-game hints to identify these.

Making the Final Decision: Marriage Candidate Comparison

If you’re breaking up to pursue someone else, consider these factors when choosing your ultimate spouse:

Unique Room Additions:
Each spouse adds a unique room to your house when you marry them, ranging from Shane’s messy room with chicken footprints to Leah’s art studio.

Daily Routine:
Spouses have different behaviors on the farm. Some, like Abigail, will offer to feed animals, while others, like Sebastian, might fix fences or water crops.

Gift Preferences:
Consider how easy it is to obtain items that your potential spouse loves. Some characters prefer items you can easily produce on your farm, while others prefer more difficult-to-obtain items.

Personality Compatibility:
Choose someone whose personality and lifestyle align with your in-game goals. If you’re a focused farmer, Leah or Maru might be good matches. If you enjoy mining and adventure, Abigail or Sebastian might better complement your gameplay.

Real Player Experiences: Breakup Stories from Pelican Town

To put all this mechanical information into context, let’s look at some real player experiences and stories about breakups and divorces in Stardew Valley.

“I Married Too Quickly”

Many players report rushing into marriage only to regret their choice later:

“Kinda rushed it with Emily. And when I mean rushed it I mean she was the only person I had hearts with when we started dating. Just had a first dialogue scene with Shane and It made me think differently of him, so now I kinda wanna get everyone’s hearts up to see how I feel about them before choosing. But I do not want to lose all of Emily’s hearts. I’ve given her so many jewels I feel like it’d be a huge waste.”

This player’s experience highlights the importance of exploring all relationship options before committing to marriage. Getting to know all the candidates allows you to make a more informed choice that you’re less likely to regret later.

“The Memory Wipe Felt Wrong”

Some players find the memory erasure mechanic ethically questionable:

“It hurts like hell. You feel stuck in a forced state of depression. You’re horny, sad, and still jealous. You feel guilty for every emotion and at the same time feel like every emotion is justified. It’s hard to eat, it’s hard to drink, it’s hard to sleep. It feels like you are fighting to breathe.”

This poetic and emotional response to a question about using the Dark Shrine of Memory shows how players can become emotionally invested in the game’s relationships. For some, the memory wipe feels like an uncomfortable shortcut that avoids properly dealing with the consequences of a divorce.

“I Dated Everyone and Then Chose”

Many players opt to date all available candidates before making a final decision:

“I dated every single one of the dateable characters and then finally settled on my boy Shane and there was absolutely no repercussions. The only thing is that you need to have a rabbit’s foot in your bag otherwise the villagers get mad at you for ‘cheating.’”

This strategic approach allows players to experience all the unique romance content before committing, maximizing the content they get to see in a single playthrough.

Action Steps Recap

To break up with someone in Stardew Valley: Create a Wilted Bouquet by placing a Bouquet and Coal in a Furnace, wait 10 minutes in-game time, then give the Wilted Bouquet to your boyfriend/girlfriend to immediately end the relationship and drop to 5 hearts friendship.

Further Resources

Date Update Impact on Breakup/Divorce Mechanics
December 20, 2024 1.6.15 Fixed some older items in the lost & found not correctly retrievable; might affect lost relationship gifts
March 19, 2024 1.6 Major update with fundamental code changes; affects mod compatibility for relationship mods
December 21, 2019 1.4 Introduced the Wilted Bouquet; added formal breakup mechanics for dating relationships
August 1, 2018 1.3 Added multiplayer; introduced gift reset bug that affected relationship rebuilding
April 24, 2017 1.2 Added Shane and Emily as marriage candidates; expanded dating pool
October 3, 2016 1.1 Added divorce option at Mayor Lewis’s house; introduced Dark Shrine of Memory
February 26, 2016 1.0 Initial release; basic marriage mechanics without breakup or divorce options